Aftermath
by Tsumi-Amethyst
Summary: The Shaman Fights have been taking their toll on every participant. The ever-loyal Amidamaru offers something different to help Yoh unwind and recuperate... Yoh x Amidamaru, Amidamaru x Mosuke If you squint .
1. Exhausting Beginnings

Title: Aftermath

Author: tsumi_amethyst

Pairing/Fandom: Yoh x Amidamaru, Amidamaru x Mosuke (if you squint, later chapters). Shaman King.

Chapter: One/?

Summary: The Shaman Fights have been taking their toll on every participant. The ever-loyal Amidamaru offers something different to help Yoh unwind and recuperate...

Author's Notes: I haven't written for Shaman King for a good few years and I decided to revisit my favourite pairing of the series that unfortunately doesn't get the attention it deserves – Yoh x Amidamaru! I will warn you, this fic contains yaoi. If this offends you, then please don't proceed any further or message me with abuse about how yaoi is wrong, I'm ruining the series, etc. It's petty and just demonstrates your immaturity. For those of you who are left, welcome and enjoy...

The one comfort that Yoh could take from his soreness and aching muscles was that his friends were in equally bad shape, the state that defined 'worse for wear.' Not that it should be a comfort, he contemplated lazily, as he shuffled his way to the nearest chair in the surprisingly quiet restaurant in the Patch Village and fell into it; he wouldn't and shouldn't wish his raw muscles, stinging wounds and stiffness on anyone. But as the old saying goes, he thought thickly as his teammates eventually caught up to him, a problem shared is a problem halved.

"Pitiful. Absolutely pitiful." Anna remarked, demonstrating her ease of movement by stretching and walking to the far end of the table, ignoring the slumped figures to her side. "Just how will you cope when the competition gets tougher in the next round, if you keep letting some half-wits destroy you?"

Yoh would have rolled his eyes, had he the energy to do so. He espied his spirit guardian regarding him sympathetically, and managed a weak smile, which was cut short abruptly by a large yawn. All of the training demanded from the Shaman Fight as requisite was taking its toll on him, and doubly so now that his father was in the village and had taken it upon himself to provide gruelling training practises when there were no fights to be had.

"Are you sure you can stay awake throughout dinner, Yoh-dono? I'm certain nobody would mind if you excused yourself this once," Amidamaru suggested gently, settling close to the shaman so that they would not be overheard by their weary companions.

Due to the recent training sessions heightening his Shamanic powers, Yoh could swear he almost caught the scent of the samurai in that moment, and he turned his head to check he wasn't hallucinating when his neck cracked in protest. He groaned and kept his head flat on the table, hesitant to move ever again, determinedly ignoring the extended rant by Anna about their lack of physical fitness and how she found it hilarious that they even considered themselves a threat to Hao...

"I could do with a rest," Yoh conceded, and Amidamaru's heart leapt with joy, though his face remained as passive as ever – "But... I need my dinner too. It will help me heal quicker." Yoh fixed his eyes on his spirit guardian, the usual lustre that signified merriment bereft, and Amidamaru frowned in concern. Noticing, Yoh managed a weak smile that somewhat restored the usual cheerfulness. "It's for the best, for now."

Amidamaru nodded, and left his master's side to gaze into what others may assume was nothingness, though Yoh was aware that the samurai was intently observing their surroundings for any signs of Hao or one of his many minions. He swallowed, knowing that the perceptive warrior had caught the hint of worry that had laced Yoh's words, though this had been unintentional.

Of late, Amidamaru had been offering more than his usual array of services to his young master. Since their arrival in the Patch Village some six weeks ago, Yoh had taken to speaking to the samurai in his room before drifting off to sleep, and it was two nights ago when things changed. Yoh pillowed his head on his arms as he silently regarded the turned back of his spirit ally, only half-listening to the heated discussion about what would be best for dinner that evening. Though he didn't know if he even wanted to, he cast his mind back to two nights prior, trying to plod his way through his memories and feelings as he did so, trying to pinpoint at which stage things spiralled from his control and left him shivering...

_It was a particularly humid evening, and Yoh had opened both of his windows to try and alleviate his discomfort, to no avail. He fidgeted with his clothes, debating what to do with them – They were only worsening his restlessness, after all. He cast his eyes to the samurai across the room, whose eyes were gazing out of the open windows protectively. Certain that baring his chest at the very least would harm no one, Yoh quickly discarded his loose t-shirt, sitting in just his bottoms for the evening. _

_Though Amidamaru had undoubtedly noticed Yoh's movements, he did nothing outwardly to suggest that he had acknowledged it. He simply sat there observing the Village below in quiet, the occasional sound of Shamans making their way back to their houses drifting to his ears in a hushed murmur, or chatter amongst restless ghosts interrupting the serene atmosphere of the evening. Yoh was unsure of what to say, if anything at all, when the warrior spoke, disturbing the sounds from the streets below. _

"_Are you in pain tonight, Yoh-dono?"_

_Yoh nodded. That day had marked his team's fourth Shaman battle, and it had been brutal. Their enemies had been quick, and swiftly worked at diminishing the mana of Yoh, Ryu and Faust. At one point, all three of their opponents had charged Yoh simultaneously, and as he was blocking an attack, another came to knock him back, into the stone barriers that encircled the main arena, and the teen cried out in pain, certain for a moment he would need to call for a medic and leave Faust and Ryu to fight alone. Yet a fortunate surge of mana guided his feet, and in a flash the cowards who had unfairly targeted him were on the floor, their mana depleted. But as soon as Silva announced Team Asakura's victory, Yoh fell back to the sandy ground of the arena, physically spent, and a medic was summoned; but his work had done little to alleviate the pain in his back and arms from parrying and striking with the heavy Harusame. _

_Amidamaru gave him a glance, and with one last look outside to make sure things were safe, he approached the bed, eyes sweeping over the half-naked form of the shaman before him. "Where does it hurt?" He asked, eyes lingering over various discoloured bruises and bandages before slowly reaching the eyes of his lord. His expression was unreadable, something that would have concerned the young Shaman should he have been less fatigued._

"_My back, mostly," Yoh said, groaning as he moved to lie on his stomach as he had been doing for the last few nights. Whenever Yoh had been in pain, Amidamaru had an array of tactics to ease or remove it completely, whether it was with a massage or something else. _

_He sensed rather than saw Amidamaru move to the bed, and waited patiently. It was difficult to see what the spirit was doing, given that he was just that – an immaterial being of the world, something that should not interact with the physical. So there was no sinking of the bed from his weight, and no rustling of clothes as he settled down – Just the hands that bore down on his back after a moment or two, eliciting a quiet groan from the shaman as his pain flared. _

"_It really hurts tonight," Yoh bit out, when he felt the samurai pause in concern. He remembered the sickening crack of bones as he smacked into the wall earlier, and how he was unable to move from the arena's infirmary an hour even after the fight's conclusion and some heavy doses of pain killers later. He shook his head and groaned again at the spirit's hesitation._

_Without speaking a word, Amidamaru unified with Yoh, the procedure having taken place so many times before that it required no effort on Yoh's part. He felt himself 'fade' into the depths of his mind, still aware of what was happening before and around him while at the same time feeling disconnected, his limbs controlled by Amidamaru's presence._

_The will of the warrior had instilled within Amidamaru the best quality a samurai could have at his disposal – stoicism. His voice cut smoothly through Yoh's consciousness, yet seemed to be drifting towards him from afar – Such was the process of spirit integration. _

"_Relax... Forget your pain... You can block it out... You can forget your pain..." The words swam in Yoh's mind like a mantra, and as he listened to the words of his spirit familiar through the hazy connection that denoted spirit unity, he felt the pain ebbing away. He trusted the voice, and the words of Amidamaru; he decided that his pain was not so great, that he had in fact felt worse, and that what did not kill would only strengthen him. _

_From somewhere in the forefront of his mind, Yoh felt a surge of happiness – Amidamaru was smiling. Gloating, almost, at his ability to ease pain in his master's tired body through will alone. He retreated from Yoh's body again, murmuring, "Hold on to that thought, Yoh-dono," His hands returned to Yoh's back, this time allowed to give the massage to fully dispel the pain, and Yoh remained somewhat disconnected with reality as the exhaustion of a day's fighting caught up with him. He sighed as the calloused hands – When had he begun to realise Amidamaru's hands had such a texture, anyway? – Rubbed and caressed his back all over, paying particular attention to the lower back, where he had struck the stone fencing._

_It felt good, though it seemed to be draining more and more energy from the young shaman. He suppressed a yawn, not quite wanting it to end yet, but his guardian ghost chuckled at the sound. "Not yet..." He whispered, teasingly. His hands continued to do their delicious work, the touch becoming light and almost ticklish. Yoh shivered and laughed softly, but did not flinch away from the touch. _

_Encouraged by his liege's response, Amidamaru allowed his fingertips to continue their gentle ministrations, the need he had been ignoring for months resurfacing as he saw his master shudder. _

_Firstly, there had been fondness – The kind that you have when you are best friends with somebody and you are excited to see them. Then, that excitement turned to anxiousness for the boy's immediate safety with a disregard for his own, and for the lives' of those who challenged Yoh. It was then that the warrior recognised his fondness and concern for what it was – He had fallen for the young shaman, hard. _

_Initially, Amidamaru had misgivings about his feelings, and tried to dismiss them as intense appreciation for all that Yoh had done for him. But upon fighting Eliza and Faust in the qualifying rounds of the Shaman Tournament, he saw something of himself in the demented doctor. He saw an intense longing for something that had once been lost a long, long time ago, and the stubborn will of iron to keep the fires of hope and love alive. That personal mirror of himself shook the samurai, and he finally accepted what he felt for what it was, though remained undecided as to what he should do. Faust and Eliza themselves were a testament to the plausibility of a relationship between a spirit and a living person, but what about Yoh? Would he feel the same way? And even if he did, there was Anna to think about. She could easily use her powers to banish or seal away the samurai if she saw him as a threat to her and Yoh's future together, and Amidamaru knew that she would not hesitate for one moment, and he would be lost and resentful once more, possibly for eternity this time. And the thought of living without Yoh was enough to deter him from doing just about anything, irrespective of the potential but, he admitted, unlikely benefits. So the samurai remained content in the knowledge that he would provide protection and support for the young shaman, and would dutifully follow wherever Yoh took him._

_Yet these last six weeks in the village had brought him and Yoh closer together, and with his hands on his naked back, the samurai's restraint was being tested. He looked to the ceiling and prayed to whatever Gods were listening that they would cease this torture, but it seemed as if they were intent on mocking him today, as Yoh turned._

"_Something wrong, Amidamaru?" Even in his drained state, Yoh could see the tortured look in Amidamaru's eyes, a look of longing that made his stomach move, though he couldn't understand why. More awake now, he turned around so he wasn't straining himself. He noticed the sharp gasp from the spirit, fooled almost for a moment that he was still alive. "Amidamaru?"_

_The spirit froze, his consciousness mocking him. A samurai who ventured into countless battles from a young age was too afraid to face his own master, and his own feelings – He deserved the chastising of his inner voice, Amidamaru realised, shame replacing the nervousness. He wondered what Mosuke would say if he could see him now, and shook his head slightly, refuting the sting of his friend's imaginary exasperation. _

_Yoh was ready to ask again what the matter was, when Amidamaru put a finger on his lips, silencing the shaman from contact alone. His chocolate coloured eyes asked a thousand questions, but he felt an ominous chill at the thought of voicing them, and he shivered again. He did nothing, didn't even move when Amidamaru lowered his lips to his own, replacing the finger with a gentle kiss, eyes fluttering shut to avoid the shocked look Yoh was almost certainly giving him. By intuition, his hands rested on Yoh's shoulders, giving enough pressure to warn him not to pull away. _

_And Yoh didn't even try. In fact, all he did until Amidamaru ended the kiss was stare, trying to process what was happening and the subsequent thoughts that were racing through his mind. He knew the gentle touch was not meaning to coax, almost as if he wasn't expecting a response, and that cast confusion into the maelstrom of emotions that Yoh was already feeling. If gauging a response wasn't the reason for this, then what was the point in doing it at all? He was clearly missing something, and fully intended to voice his thoughts when Amidamaru withdrew, ending the kiss, yet when it was actually over, it seemed that he'd forgotten how to speak. He stared mutely at the samurai, silently asking for an explanation for the forwardness._

_But when it came down to it, neither could quite find the words to voice what they needed to. Yoh just continued his bemused gaze, unable to flinch away or escape even when a hand left his shoulder and stroked the hair from his eyes. Amidamaru's eyes were more unreadable than before, though the previous tension was notably absent. The silence seemed to drag forever, and moment by moment the samurai appeared to retreat into himself more, feeling that he should voice an apology of some sort while at the same time not at all wanting to, because now the deceit was over. No longer did he need to mask what he felt, and no more did his consciousness mock him. And for this, he felt triumphant. _

_The hand stroking away Yoh's unruly hair dropped to the teen's chest, yet the whimper this elicited made Amidamaru flinch, hand immediately snapping back to his side. _

_All at once the sensation of loss gushed through Amidamaru's body, and he bowed his head in shame and in acknowledgement of Yoh's silent rejection. He stood, uncertain now of where to put himself, the only scrap of pride that remained uncrushed within him was that he had, in his own way, confessed how he felt._

"_I am no coward," Said Amidamaru, noting how neither of them had dared to raise their eyes since he had begun to speak. "And that is why I felt the need to do this, Yoh-dono." He hesitated, on the brink of apologising, but the realisation that this would be deceitful to his liege struck him deeply, his grasp of self-respect slackening. Why apologise, he thought dully, when he wasn't sorry for what he had done? The brief, yet intimate contact with the Shaman had him wanting more, but judging from the pained and confused look on Yoh's face, it seemed highly unlikely that he would see the samurai in the same way again, let alone as something more than a friend. And it was for that reaction which would surely instigate the imminent degeneration of their friendship that he was sorry. _

_Yoh maintained the silence, still unsure of what he should be saying or doing. He thought he should be offering the spirit some comfort, but he was at a loss for words. Though the kiss had been brief and unintrusive, it had been his first – The fear that Anna had her army of ghosts perpetually stalking and watching Yoh prevented him from experiencing anything like that before – And that, he said to himself, was why he was obsessing over it like this. He looked up, finally ready to respond to what had just transpired, but Amidamaru had left, and Yoh frowned in loss. _

_He knew that the samurai had not gone far; he was most probably settling on the roof to both brood and meditate as he sat there, gawking at empty space. Yoh knew that he should pursue what this all meant and just what was expected of him as a consequence, but instead he let himself fall on his side, curled on his bed, so deep in thought that he was unable to drift off to sleep, in spite of his fatigue. He lay there and let the moments replay themselves in his mind as he tried to process just where it had all come from, and by the time he had come to the sensible conclusion that only by asking Amidamaru directly would he know the truth, the sun was rising, and he groaned quietly, accepting that his beloved Mistress, sleep, had deserted him for the night. He pulled himself out of bed with a sigh, dressed himself, and went downstairs to prepare and make breakfast..._

"Earth to Yoh!"

Chocolate-coloured eyes regained their focus on Manta's third attempt to gain his attention, and Yoh gave his short friend an apologetic smile as compensation for his lack of awareness.

"Hurry up and order, will you? I'm so hungry I feel like crawling up the walls!"

Smiling at the mental image that induced, and ignoring Anna's comment of "Like you're even strong enough to hold your own body weight, Shorty," Yoh turned to the patient yet exasperated Silva, who was acting as a waiter-cum-chef that evening, and ordered his usual. Thankful that soon he would be filled to bursting, his strength slowly returning to him as he digested the food, Yoh returned his head to its usual resting place of the table, pretending not to hear Manta chide him for it. His eyes fixed momentarily with the samurai's, and his insides wriggled unpleasantly (was it really, though?) at the realisation he was being watched. It struck him so fiercely that for a moment he felt smothered, unable to breathe, and he closed his eyes, yet remained unable to rid himself of the paranoia that he was still being watched. Self-consciously he picked at his food when it arrived, the burning feel of Amidamaru's eyes focused on him causing him serious discomfort. He was about to ask his guardian to desist when a familiar voice interrupted the quiet friends.

"I wouldn't be eating too many Cheeseburgers if I were you, Yoh." It was Hao. He sauntered over to the table, decidedly unthreatened by the drawing of swords and other spirit mediums from around the table at his approach. His eyes focused solely on his twin, wearing a smile that scarily resembled Yoh's own, confirming that he was completely at ease, not at all troubled by the glares of contempt he was receiving.

"I saw you in your fight earlier. Frankly, I was rather disappointed." His smile widened, turning to face Mikihisa, who had been watching the exchange from the branches of a nearby tree. "I thought your special training regime was supposed to help avoid such embarrassing displays?" Hao laughed at his father's growl, tutting disapprovingly, "I wouldn't waste your time, if I were you. Surely by now you realise that Yoh will never be strong enough to defeat me?" With another smirk, he turned back to face his brother, who by now had sat up straight, pain and dinner forgotten as he focused on Hao, hand tightly gripping the hilt of Harusame. Amidamaru lingered at his shoulder, prepared to hurl his spirit energy into the sword at any given moment.

"What do you want?" Yoh hissed, his eyes narrowed. Why did his brother choose to taunt him? Of course, Yoh recognised that he still had a long way to go in terms of his training, but he had come far...

Hao inhaled heavily through his nose. "Bloodlust! Do you smell it, Opacho?" With another laugh, he turned and left the group, having had his fun for the time being. He couldn't help, however, but stop underneath the tree and stare directly at his father, as if he could see what lay beneath the mask which concealed his burns from the world. He smirked again. "Could you help me with _my_ training, Daddy?" With that final taunt earning him not only an attack from the enraged Mikihisa – Which, of course, missed – But also a yelp from passers-by and a startled shout from Silva, ordering that the damage caused by the failed attack be paid for, Hao left the scene, and finally Team the Ren and Team Funbari Onsen relaxed.

Yoh sighed, releasing his grip on Harusame, and eyed his plate of half-eaten food, suddenly not wanting it anymore. He prodded the stone cold food as he watched Silva race over to the site of damage to ensure nobody was injured, apologising profusely. He scanned the tree above for Mikihisa, but at the prospect of having to pay for the small, singed crater in the sidewalk, he had escaped. The Officiator sighed, returning to the restaurant sullenly, having half the mind to ignore Anna's demands that her food be reheated or replaced before she refused payment. He busied himself with that, and Yoh sighed, accepting his reheated food when it arrived with a smile, though he drew no joy from the food this time around, his mind clearly elsewhere.

"I was not expecting him to appear like that." Amidamaru commented, seemingly to nobody, but he knew that at the very least, Yoh was listening to him. "I am sorry, Yoh-dono, for-"

"You were no less vigilant than you normally were, so there's no need to apologise," Yoh said firmly, chewing his food thoughtfully, not really tasting it. He sensed rather than saw Amidamaru recoil at the harshness of his tone, and he sighed again, dropping his hands to the table in a loud clatter, burger now completely forgotten about as he raked his hands irritably through his hair.

"I'm sorry, alright? I'm just..." What, Yoh thought, what can I say as a credible excuse for being short with him when he had no real reason? He ran through the various scenarios in his mind, the things he could say and Amidamaru's subsequent response.

'I'm just pissed off at the thought that Hao is actually right and I needed someone to take that out on. My bad.'

'I'm just really not sure how to address you anymore, or what you want from me after that kiss.'

'I'm just really unsure what I want right now, and when I think that it's you and your mouth and your arms and your everything else, I get snappy. Sorry about that.'

Though he could go on like this all night, Yoh drew himself back to the present, his stomach dropping again to see concern now etched on Amidamaru's features. He offered a weak smile to the samurai. "... I'm just tired. I'm sorry, Amidamaru," He managed at length, glad to see the warrior relieved somewhat by his response.

"Maybe you should get an early night, Yoh-dono. You look exhausted and you know that tomorrow, Mikihisa-sama will only intensify your training." His voice was reassuring, his blue eyes warm and thoughtful for the condition of the young shaman, and what he said made sense. Yoh nodded in agreement, trying not to think of the underlying motives to Amidamaru's suggestions as he cleared his throat and banged on the table again to gain the attention of his friends. He quickly announced his departure, and rejected the offers of being accompanied home and denied that he was ill. With a smile he left the table, trying not to limp as he walked away, suddenly becoming deaf to Manta's cries of where his money was for his meal.

The journey to their temporary home passed in silence, with Amidamaru following his master slowly to observe their surroundings, ensuring that Hao had left the area and returned to his clearing in the woods for the night. He kept glancing back at Yoh, however, to make sure that he was alright, and to wonder what he thought of him after their kiss two nights ago. The possibility that Yoh's silence about the incident indicated his lack of interest had plagued Amidamaru's mind ever since it happened, and such negative thoughts were becoming harder to dispel as time passed. With a heavy heart, Amidamaru realised that he needed to accept that Yoh simply wasn't interested in him in that way. As much as he didn't want it to be true, the pessimistic samurai – No, he thought, not pessimistic, realist – Could see that Yoh's silence concerning the matter was as good as any rejection. This self-confession settled like an iron weight in his heart, and he sighed. The exhalation was not missed by his young master, though he chose not to address it. He understood, innately, what was on the samurai's mind. His steps became heavier as they eventually reached the door to their dusty accommodation, stumbling slightly from his weariness, and from the acceptance that they would be unable to avoid discussing just what they were, or weren't after their 'encounter.'

Yoh threw himself into a chair around a makeshift table – The end of a ping pong table, to be precise – And buried his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes tiredly, aware again of his spirit's eyes on him. He reopened his eyes and offered the samurai a shaky smile.

"Guess we need to talk, huh?"


	2. Rooftop Revelations

AN: I shouldn't really continue this, since there's been a distinct lack of interest in this pairing and fandom for quite some time now, and yet I can't bear to let it go. I love this pairing too much and you should too. Please drop me a line letting me know how I've done, and any advice for improvement is welcome. And thank you, so much, to the one person who did review.

Amidamaru nodded, thankful of Yoh's realisation. Of course they needed to talk. Even if it ended in heartbreak for the samurai, they would benefit as a team; not only would Amidamaru be able to focus fully on his sworn duty – To protect the young shaman at all costs – But the awkwardness between them that had now clouded their relationship would lift, allowing Yoh to realise his full potential as a shaman, rather than having to focus on his spirit's feelings for him.

Even that afternoon, in the middle of an official shaman fight, Amidamaru had detected the sense of unease with which Yoh had handled his spirit form as he integrated with Harusame. Such hesitation had not only left him with a wounded feeling in his heart, but it had been the primary cause of Yoh's injuries for the day. Just as the young Shaman was trying to forget about what he felt as he touched Amidamaru's spirit form, suppressing that familiar touch which he could now only associate with that kiss, he found himself having the wind forced out of him as his opponent slammed him into the arena walls. And Amidamaru, feeling that he had failed his young master, was racked with guilt.

The realisation that he was the cause of his master's pain did not settle well with the samurai. His teeth ground together, his face set in a look of self-hate. How could he even claim to be Yoh's spirit familiar, his yojimbo, when he was the one actually causing the shaman's pain? He cursed himself for his weakness, for his inability to simply let Yoh be, and heard the voices of his conscience and Mosuke berating him for his self-perceived worthlessness.

Yoh studied his spirit guardian carefully, head propped up by the elbow resting on the table. He saw the spirit's features tighten, setting itself into a battle-ready growl. The shaman wondered fleetingly whether this was such a brilliant idea, but his cynicism was deterred by the gnawing knowledge that reminded him that they simply couldn't continue like this. His body was still aching from where he had landed against the barriers earlier, and he knew it was due to the tension spawned from the kiss he and Amidamaru had shared. So he kept his features carefree and open, waiting patiently for Amidamaru to either say something or for his voice to work long enough to ask what was going on.

Just when it seemed as if neither man was about to speak, the shaman sighed, and shifted uncomfortably in his seat – The stiff wooden chair was doing nothing to soothe the discomfort in his back. Watching Amidamaru's features closely, he began slowly, not quite sure why he was simply stating the obvious as opposed to voicing his burning questions.

"Things were different today." He swallowed nervously, tongue darting out to dampen his lips. His expression seemed slightly pained as he tried not to notice how Amidamaru's eyes watched this with an intense stare, and he continued, "Anna's right. We were so off-focus. It showed pretty badly."

Amidamaru maintained his silence, his stance suggesting he was perfectly content with upholding it all night if needs be. Yoh smiled, recognising the look as one of deep thought, and allowed the samurai some time to form a response. When he received none, the teen sighed and ran his hands through his hair. Shying away from this so-called elephant in the room was getting them nowhere, and since they were alone, there was no harm in being blunt when they were such good friends.

"How long?"

It took a moment for Amidamaru to catch up with Yoh's train of thought, and when he did, he was stricken by his lord's forwardness. He straightened his back and fought not to make eye contact with the teen, the years spent training as a samurai turning into a true test of his discipline as he kept his features passive.

"Three months."

Yoh nodded, eyes focused on the spot where Amidamaru's feet would be. He had always wondered why the spirit occasionally chose to have his lower half sectioned off in favour of a ghost-like trail, when at other times he would show his legs and feet. He gazed at the spot for a while longer, a feeling of something heavy, almost guilt-like burning in his stomach.

He wasn't certain why he was so bent on pursuing this subject. Of course, they needed to understand the situation better to avoid hesitation and, subsequently, reduce mistakes made in battle. But why not simply leave it at that, rather than putting Amidamaru through what could only be humiliating and depressing? It wasn't fair for the samurai to endure such unnecessary nastiness.

Ready to apologise, Yoh raised his eyes only to meet with the striking blue of his spirit guardian, and he faltered once more. He shut his mouth and swallowed, growing steadily more uneasy as the warrior's features failed to change. Tension accumulated between them faster than Manta could name an obscure fact, and Yoh wondered if Amidamaru was going to kiss him again.

The tension only intensified as Amidamaru slowly approached the shaman, and Yoh froze, his heartbeat rising in a crescendo, certain the samurai could hear it, the insistent thumps feeling like something of a warning as Amidamaru paused, standing right above the sitting teen.

The samurai knelt down so that he was eye level with his liege, the close contact with the young boy shaking his very restraint to the core as he fought not to pull him in for another kiss. The one thread of uncertainty that kept him from doing so was the ambiguity as to whether Yoh would accept or reject him, and he kept that in mind as he found himself in the shaman's personal space, senses fooling him into believing he was alive as he inhaled Yoh's scent.

Yet still he sensed the discomfort and anxiety Yoh was feeling, from not only the look in the shaman's eyes, but also the discrepancies in his aura. Amidamaru examined the shrouds of emotion oozing from the charismatic teenager, feeling his uneasiness and surprise at the revelations he was now forced to confront. The samurai offered a smile to try and relax him, though it appeared to have no outward or spiritual effect. If anything, Yoh appeared to flinch back, and Amidamaru sighed, lowering his head for a moment.

Yoh's reaction was as much proof as the already beaten, doubtful samurai required to verify his fears that Yoh was simply uninterested in him. And who could blame him? Amidamaru himself had run through the reasons why this wouldn't work in his mind countless times; though it did not make the near confirmed truth that Amidamaru was being foolish any easier to bear.

Amidamaru didn't raise his eyes again, though he rose and stepped back to return a little of Yoh's security. The shaman stared attentively into the face of his spirit guardian, searching for clues that might indicate what he was feeling. Yet Amidamaru kept his eyes concealed, and said nothing for a good while, perpetuating the tension between them. Then, while keeping his head bowed, he sighed once more, suddenly feeling very old, and unworthy of his title as samurai.

"I expect nothing from you, save your understanding, Yoh-dono. I should not have done what I did and I..." Amidamaru caught himself before he could say that he was sorry – He was not about to add 'lying to one's master' to the list of crimes he had committed. "... I was being foolish. You will marry Anna-"

At this, Yoh started. "Wait a sec, Amidamaru-"

Amidamaru carried on over his liege, adding his ignorance at interrupting Yoh to his list, voice so commanding that Yoh did not dare finish his utterance. Even without his eyes burning into him, Yoh knew when not to push his spirit guardian, such was their bond. "-She is a beautiful young woman who will help you, bear you the shaman children your family ask of you to carry on the Asakura name. And most importantly-" At this, Amidamaru raised his eyes, and Yoh gasped. They were bright in the artificially lit kitchen, and bore the authority of a shogun issuing orders to the men under his command. The sheer power behind that glare, almost as unnerving as the samurai's battle stare, was more than enough to guarantee Yoh's silence. He wanted to tear his eyes away, to close his eyes, do anything to cut him off from that gaze, but he feared what would happen if he tried; as if Amidamaru would strike him, or if that gaze was somehow visible with one's eyes closed, as if the image had been somehow tattooed on Yoh's eyelids.

What was all the more frightening was the realisation that the stare he was beholding had been the final sight of many an enemy samurai as they died, sliced by Amidamaru's swords.

"And most importantly," Amidamaru began again, voice so soft, so eerily articulated that Yoh had to strain to hear and understand above the sound of his frantically beating heart. The resigned, wise tone to the samurai's voice made his proclamation all the more heart-breaking, and Yoh felt his gut flutter as guilt and sorrow crashed in, "She is alive."

Yoh immediately opened his mouth to say something, clearly upset, but Amidamaru had already disappeared. His spirit fled from the building, not caring for the entrapment of his memorial tablet as he sought solitude on the roof of the shared house, barely registering through his heavy brooding that the group had returned. He dragged his gaze across the splendid view of the illuminated village below, heart heavy as he struggled to compose himself.

He was not about to cry. As a warrior, he was far too proud for that, regardless of how much the situation hurt him – Though he was not about to weep over something so trivial as unrequited love. He gripped the handle of Harusame, the immaterial object a mere counterfeit to Yoh's physical version, resenting the fact that the tightness of his grip was incapable of causing him pain, of making him bleed as sword calloused hands rubbed over the hilt; that Anna was alive and he was not. That he felt closer to the young shaman than what she ever appeared to be, and yet it would be she who was allowed, even expected to get close with him, her future husband.

That word contaminated Amidamaru's mind like poison. He was not ready to hate Anna – he was not a petty schoolgirl, green with the envy that clouds one's judgement. But perhaps what made him suffer more was the fact that she was a nice person who, like him, only held Yoh's best interests at heart. She was someone truly worthy of him, and that feeling of inadequacy, combined with the nagging feeling that he had in some way betrayed her and his Lord made his loss sting all the more.

Wanting to banish the feeling of sorrow settling over him, Amidamaru assumed his position as watchman for the evening. His demeanour informed the other ghosts that they should not approach him; though the vile, depressed aura he emanated pretty much assured his privacy. Through his brooding, he was unable to sense what the spirits were talking about, yet his sense had not deserted him – He was fully aware that speculation was taking place.

Downstairs, Yoh had not quite been acting his normal self. He still offered smiles of exasperation as Ren and Horo fought amongst one another, still averted his eyes whenever Faust and Eliza got cosy and cuddly with one another in the corner, and still managed to look half-interested at Manta's new programme for his laptop. Yet the ever observant Manta just felt that something was amiss, and was keen to find out before Yoh felt tired to the point of dismissing Manta's claims as exhaustion. The brain box almost jumped up when Anna demanded a cool drink, delightedly accepting orders from everyone else before pulling Yoh into the kitchen to help.

As Manta set about boiling the kettle and running the cold tap for Anna, he cast an uneasy glance over at his best friend, unsure of how to approach the shaman's distant behaviour. For whatever reason, Manta couldn't attribute Yoh's actions to just exhaustion, and he was keen to find out what other factors were contributing to his friend being so off character. He watched the shaman from the corner of his eye, taking in the despondent look while making everyone's drinks, and the shaman eventually threw himself into the very same chair he had been sat in when he and Amidamaru had been speaking, raking his fingers through raven-coloured locks.

At this, Manta saw his opening. He put his hands on his hips, and gave his friend an accusatory stare. He was determined to get to the bottom of this, regardless of how long it took. "What's happened?"

Yoh tried to respond with his usual carefree grin and dopey gaze, but found he hadn't the heart to lie. He instead just stared at his diminutive friend, wondering just what on earth he could say to explain everything in what was undoubtedly too short a space of time. The seconds ticked by and still Yoh had no answer he could give to his friend, and he banged his forehead lightly against the ping pong table to demonstrate his exasperation. Manta was about to explode from being left hanging, when Yoh's muffled outburst stopped any thoughts he had about demanding a response, and started wishing he hadn't pursued the subject at all.

"Amidamaru kissed me." Yoh turned his head, so his eyes were just visible to the stunned expression of his friend. "Don't tell Anna," he said, before straightening his back and rubbing his eyes tiredly. Not only had today's fight taken the energy out of him, but the brief meeting between him and the samurai had turned out to be rather taxing for his mental wellbeing, too.

Manta spluttered, indignation settling in. '"Don't tell Anna?!' Do you think I'm mad? I'm not breathing a word of this to anyone!" Yoh shot his friend a glare, nodding his head to the nearby door. Thankfully it was closed, but he wasn't prepared to deal with the whole group knowing about this quite yet. Luckily, Manta got the hint, and the short teen lowered his voice considerably.

"When did this happen? I knew something was wrong, you two just weren't the same out there today." Manta's eyes were wide, his inquisitive nature more than welcome from the shaman who had briefly entertained thoughts of his best friend deserting him over this. Thankful for the boy's loyalty, Yoh checked the door again, making sure that everyone seemed too involved in berating Chocolove for his most recent outburst of terrible jokes before continuing. He told of how it all happened, and what had been said that night. Yoh omitted the part where he had been convinced Amidamaru was about to kiss him again, since judging from the look on Manta's face, this snippet of gossip was too juicy to absorb. All the while he kept his gaze fixed on the door behind the vertically challenged genius, knowing that soon they would be expected back. He eventually tore his gaze away to face Manta's sympathetic, albeit surprised expression.

"... What are you going to do?" Manta said at length, pouring away the now lukewarm drinks and boiling the kettle again, busying himself by preparing the drinks again. "You're not just bummed about the whole thing, there's something else that's bothering you."

Yoh wanted to curse his friend's observational skills, but instead sighed, helping the small teen reach the taller cupboards. "I don't know. I want to go up there and talk to him, but I don't know what to say. He probably wants to be alone, but..." Yoh stretched as he reached for the last clean mug in the cupboard, handing it to Manta just as the door opened, and in marched a very irritated-looking Anna.

"What have you two been up to? I asked for my water fifteen minutes ago!" She raised her hand, prepared to slap the pair of them, when Yoh forced the glass of water into her outstretched hand, ducking the left handed slap as he moved past her, passing through the living room and heading straight upstairs. He heard Ryu in the bathroom and decided not to bother him, so headed into the large, shared bedroom instead, throwing himself down onto his futon and wondering just what was bothering him so much.

In his mind, everything that Amidamaru said had made perfect sense to him. In the real world, Anna was not only the obvious, but necessary choice to make. His family were undoubtedly depending on him to marry a young female who would have children with him to bear the Asakura name. And she had definitely improved his physical endurance with her ruthless training regime. As for beautiful, Yoh found himself agreeing with that, too (though he'd never admit it to her face, of course – Her wrath would be so great he doubted he'd survive). There was something striking about the fiery itako, and although they were still young, Yoh had enough sense to know she would soon blossom into a strong-willed, beautiful woman. And there was no doubt in the shaman's mind that Anna was very much alive.

Yoh rolled to his side, staring at the hole which sufficed as a window. He saw the orange tint in the evening sky, denoting light pollution – Ironic, he thought, given how the Patch Tribe seemed intent on preaching the benefits of being environmentally friendly. He cast his eyes upward for a moment, his instincts telling him that Amidamaru was on the roof.

Though he knew that they needed more than their small conversation earlier to smooth everything over, Yoh had no idea what on earth he would say to his spirit familiar once they were face to face. He wondered even if he would be able to say anything, given how he had earlier been speechless at the tension accumulating thickly between them. He continued to stare out of the window from his low position on the floor, ignoring the discomfort in the arm he was resting his body weight on. He heard the ruckus from downstairs only very faintly as he lost himself in thought, entertaining the idea of having a relationship with Amidamaru for just a moment. He could clearly picture how respectful the samurai would be, and how he would honour Yoh's decision to take things slowly. He could almost see the group downstairs being happy for him – Yoh was omitting, of course, Anna's existence for the time being – with Faust being able to relate to his situation. And even the thought of being with another man wasn't a bother for the teenage shaman; he had his own firm set of beliefs, most of which involved exercising tolerance and keeping an open mind. Yoh wasn't terribly experienced in the intimate side of things, but he was able to recognise attraction when it made itself known – He had seen the way Ren had looked at him, before the Chinese shaman had realised how much more fun it was getting a rise out of Horo.

The shaman spent the better part of an hour thinking of how to approach the subject to his spirit, ignoring the ruckus downstairs. All the while he kept his gaze focused on the view from outside, watching as the lights across the city were extinguished, although the night was still young; Yoh understood the value of a good night's sleep now that the competition was heating up, and he just knew that either Anna or his father would have some new training regime ready for them tomorrow.

As if making a snap decision, Yoh began to crawl over to the window, ignoring the poignant truth that it had taken him two days to reach this decision. He stood and judged the distance from his window to the city streets below. It was odd how the pavement seemed to stretch out for miles beneath him, and Yoh shuddered involuntarily, telling himself to be careful as he hoisted himself onto the window ledge, shifting so his back was facing the street. His hands scrabbled at the safety of the bedroom wall for a moment longer, before reaching up to clutch at the roof, testing the quality of the brickwork to see if it would hold his weight. He felt his shoulders groan in protest, stiffness evident in the tired muscles, but he ignored it. He had endured worse. Anna's training regime, he thought to himself with a weary smile.

Satisfied that he wouldn't plunge to his death if he pulled himself up to the roof this way, Yoh gripped the roof tightly as he shimmied his feet out from beneath him, taking a calming breath as he let them swing out from the window ledge, with the nearest refuge for them now being the street below. Yoh narrowed his eyes as he focused his energy on pulling himself up to the roof, suddenly thankful for Anna's exhausting physical exercises as he used his mind over matter techniques to distract himself from the pain in his arms and shoulders. His arms bent, and he pressed his feet against the wall to give him extra support, ready to pull his weight up.

Then, the very same arm that had smashed into the concrete barrier of the arena weakened, and Yoh felt his fingertips slipping. Desperately, he kicked his legs, trying to locate the window ledge so he could pull himself back inside. He found his struggles were in vain as his legs hit nothing but the cold bricks, and Yoh braced his other arm to support his body weight as his left hand fell limply to his side, causing the muscles in his right arm to scream in agony. Yoh growled, partly to express his anger, and partly as an admittance of his fear. He fought to swing his weaker arm back up, knowing he wouldn't be able to pull himself up with just the one arm, and came up empty there.

Yoh looked frantically down at the streets below, guessing that he would suffer at least a broken leg from the fall. He whimpered aloud, wishing that someone would spot him and come to pull him back inside, feeling his right arm begin to slip. His fingertips clutched to the roof for dear life, the prospect of injury and possibly death becoming more than just a possibility to the teenage shaman.

Yoh cried out as he scrabbled for something, anything for his other arm to hang on to, just as his prayers were answered. A large pair of hands closed around his wrist, and Yoh cried out again as he felt himself being lifted up and onto the roof by none other than Amidamaru.

The samurai left him hanging in the air for a moment as he examined the dishevelled state of his master in exasperation, before hauling him to safer footing and reprimanding him for his foolishness, wondering what on earth Yoh could be thinking.

Yoh, on the other hand, who had never been so thankful to feel the floor beneath his feet, just savoured the thought of having his mortality spared. He cut off the samurai with a smile. "Thanks, Amidamaru. That's the umpteenth time you've saved my life." He padded over to the centre of the roof, far away from the ledge and sat down, trying to calm his heart rate back to normal after his ordeal. For someone as laid-back as Yoh, an experience like that was still terrifying. He sensed rather than saw Amidamaru watch him for a moment, before settling down beside his master, resuming his position as watchman. He was careful about the distance he kept from the teenage shaman, given how there was still tension between them.

This wasn't unnoticed by Yoh, who regarded the space between him and Amidamaru as almost alien; he considered them so close to one another as friends that he'd been expecting the samurai to sit closer. Then his heart began to flutter again in anxiety, remembering why he'd come to his spirit guardian. He swallowed, hard, the things he had planned on saying suddenly seeming to be on the very edge of his mind, resting comfortably at the point where he could almost remember with no intention of budging. He bit his lip, suddenly wishing that Amidamaru wasn't quite so taciturn. If only the samurai would initiate conversation, Yoh knew that he would be able to steer the exchange towards what both men knew needed to be discussed, though neither were relishing the prospect of its outcome.

Yoh cleared his throat, just about mustering the courage to make some small-talk when Amidamaru beat him to it, keeping his azure eyes fixed on the forest where Hao and his group had congregated.

"It's been quiet tonight," He managed, voice steady though strained. He kept his gaze fixed on that forest as he continued, "Almost too quiet."

Yoh nodded, thankful that for once he had been given a blessing. "After Hao's little appearance earlier, I figured he'd be lying low. But still, you're right – Something just feels wrong. Like he's plotting something as we speak."

Amidamaru gave a curt nod, and Yoh's spirits dropped, certain that he'd effectively ended the conversation, but the warrior carried on. "I just know he's up to something, but I have no idea what. But whatever it is he's plotting-" The samurai tore his gaze from the forest for a second, and Yoh fought with himself not to flinch at the intensity in his eyes, "-I'll be ready."

Yoh caught himself before gasping, settling with another mute nod as Amidamaru turned his gaze back to the woods. Yoh regarded his spirit guardian for a moment longer before letting his eyes wander to the prettily illuminated streets below.

The silence that fell between them was a lot less awkward than before, and the warrior visibly relaxed. Yoh, too, felt more at ease in the company of the spirit, resenting how tense the atmosphere had been between them. Their relationship had felt nothing but strained – The polar opposite of how it should be. And subsequently, it had affected their friendship, too. Yoh's eyes narrowed as he contemplated the distance between him and Amidamaru; it was unnaturally vast. He felt strange being so far away from the doting spirit – Usually they would be side by side, laughing about one thing or another or just enjoying the other's company, lapsing into a quiet yet comfortable silence. And as almost an ambassador for friendship (given Yoh's ability to make Ren not only tolerate but begin to like other people), why wasn't he confronting this issue head-on to get him and Amidamaru back on track?

With a renewed sense of confidence, Yoh shifted himself so he was within what he considered 'normal' range of his spirit guardian. He looked up into Amidamaru's face, and though his gaze had not wavered from Hao's natural abode, his eyebrows had raised somewhat, his lips slightly parted – He had not been expecting Yoh to approach him as he normally would.

More minutes ticked by in silence, and Yoh was beginning to feel the cold of the desert winds. He suppressed a shiver, running his hands along his arms to create a little bit of warmth, before sighing and lying down on the roof, staring up at the stars as he would back at Funbari.

"Alright, Yoh-dono. What is it that you came up here to ask of me?" Amidamaru asked, cautiously turning his gaze to his young master, apprehensive of just what Yoh would come out and say. Because the teenager would undoubtedly just come out bluntly and say it, which was a double-edged sword; in one respect, Amidamaru would find out immediately what Yoh was thinking, and would not be made to endure needless waiting or tip-toeing around the subject; yet Amidamaru would still be made to bear the brunt of whatever Yoh needed to say, which was most likely going to be a gentle yet heartbreaking rejection. The samurai inwardly braced himself as he waited for Yoh to confirm what he was certain would happen.

Meanwhile, downstairs Yoh's presence was being missed. Anna shot Manta an accusatory glare, as if he was somehow to blame for her fiancée's absence. The diminutive bookworm stared down at the floor, mumbling something about how he would promptly search upstairs. 'Poor Yoh,' Manta thought to himself sympathetically as he trudged up the stairs, 'Soon he'll have to put up with this for the rest of his life...'

Manta pushed open the door to their shared bedroom and found only Ryu and Tokageroh arguing between themselves about one thing or another. Manta scanned the room and felt his stomach curl in panic as he realised that neither Yoh nor Amidamaru were anywhere to be found. He turned on his heel and raced downstairs, dreading telling Anna her fiancée was nowhere to be found. The prodigy relayed his findings back to Anna, and instead of receiving a slap to the face and a string of imperatives in his ear to search again, worry passed across the itako's face.

"You couldn't find either of them?" Though there was no tremor in her voice that indicated fear, the colour drained from Anna's cheeks and her eyes widened; and Manta realised for the first time just how much Anna actually cared about his best friend. He had no time to nurse his shame and short-sightedness, however, as he was still talking to the fiery-tempered itako. He nodded frantically, not quite sure where Anna's train of thought led but felt his own concern rising, given the circumstances surrounding his and Yoh's last conversation. They were undoubtedly together, but where had they gone? What if they had encountered one of Hao's followers, or Hao himself? Or what if they had caught Yoh when he was alone, unarmed and vulnerable, and the worst had happened?

As these things raced through Manta's mind, Anna was already rallying the group together, screaming orders and shaking her beads in the direction she wanted the searches to begin. Manta dived out of the way of charging feet, wooden swords and snowboards, panic squashed momentarily as he was stricken by his helplessness, the feeling that he was just in the way as always and of no real use to his friends at all.

Anna, in no state herself to offer the diminutive genius any comfort, left to search in her own way, studying fluctuations in mana in the nearby area, searching for Yoh's distinctive mana signature.

With a heavy sigh, Manta pulled himself onto the sofa, a dejected look frozen on his pale face as he powered up his laptop, trying to find something that may help him in convincing himself that he was in some way helpful to the group, and not just a spare part, a tag-along who just got in everybody's way and caused nothing but trouble and irritation.

And yet just a few floors above him, Yoh was hesitating, on the brink of just doing whatever it took to restore the atmosphere to normal, while simultaneously he felt unsure of what it was he wanted. He brushed some brunet locks from his eyes in a melodramatic huff, folding his arms behind his head as a pillow against the coarse roof.

"I didn't like you telling me what I should and shouldn't do, Amidamaru," The shaman began slowly, choosing his words very carefully, "You don't need to tell me that Anna's the obvious choice. Or that she's alive." Yoh noticed the fleeting, resentful smile that crossed the warrior's lips, and shook the image and feeling of guilt from his stomach.

"But maybe the obvious choice isn't always the choice we go along with. Like you and Mosuke – You could've gone with the easy option and chosen to run like a coward, but you stood your ground and stayed loyal to your friend. Some people call you a fool, and maybe you are-" Yoh ignored the indignant spluttering of his guardian at this point, pushing on regardless of Amidamaru's protests, "-But that was your choice. Mosuke tried to change your mind but he couldn't. You stuck to your guns and I like that." The teen paused, pushing himself up to a sitting position, reversing their earlier stances as he felt Amidamaru's eyes on him, while his gazed out into the distance, quietly admiring the King of Spirit's flickering aura. His carefree smile was back, and its return soothed the samurai's concerns.

"So what you should do is stick by that ethic and let me do what I want and make my own choices, too," Yoh concluded, turning to smile at Amidamaru's reaction. His spirit guardian seemed content with Yoh's argument, though still uneasy about where Yoh was going with it. He smiled nervously, nodding to show that he conceded to his liege's way of reasoning.

"Maybe you should let me do what I want, Amidamaru," Yoh managed, making his mind up at once what it was he wanted as the samurai's gaze focused on him alone. Those striking – And though effectively dead, so full of emotion one could easily mistake him for living – Blue eyes locked onto his hazel ones, the increasingly familiar tension resurfacing between them. Amidamaru licked his lips, throwing caution to the wind as he adopted Yoh's gauche approach.

"... And what is it that you want?... Yoh-dono?" He added the honorific as an afterthought, though it was hardly needed; he had already managed to accumulate enough tension with his suggestive query.

For Yoh, suddenly Amidamaru was so close, and his heart began to pound again, chest heaving as his mind inadvertently took him back to their kiss, to how soft and fleeting Amidamaru's lips had been on his, how suddenly all he wanted was that closeness and no one or nothing else mattered, and how the intense look in the spirit's eyes only perpetuated what Yoh had never before appreciated or realised was natural beauty. His eyes dropped for a moment to the warrior's lips, and upon seeing how close they were to his own, licked his own.

"What I want...?"


	3. Ruminations

**Author's notes**: this has taken me a long time to update. I do not want to give people false hope that I have returned to frequently and regularly update this fanfic, because that's just something that I cannot at the moment guarantee for you guys (I am training to become a teacher and believe me, it is tough). Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed and messaged me privately asking about this fic. I know that this chapter likely won't live up to people's expectations (it's been far too long and will undoubtedly suffer from 'Duke Nukem Forever' syndrome). However, I really do enjoy this couple, and I miss writing – above all else, I miss writing. Please enjoy the chapter for what it is, and hopefully I will be able to talk to you guys again soon.

"Yoh-dono..." Amidamaru murmured the name, and Yoh shivered, his skin flushing despite the cold evening air. His eyes were locked with his spirit guardian's, their faces drawing nearer, until the samurai pressed a hand to Yoh's shoulder. The look in his eyes told the teenager to wait.

"Yoh-dono..." Amidamaru repeated, eyes focused on the lips of his shaman. It pained him to do this last-minute check; his mind was screaming, asking why he was endangering himself, asking why he was stopping what had seemed an inevitable kiss, why, why, why... "Are you sure that this... that _I_ am what you want?"

Yoh's eyes hadn't left his, and they now looked imploringly at the samurai. "Yes," was all Yoh had time to whisper, before Amidamaru caught his lips with his own, putting as much passion into the kiss as he could. The samurai's arms wrapped around Yoh's waist, and he felt Yoh's instinctively curl around his neck. Amidamaru smiled as their tongues met, deepening the kiss. His grip on the teenager tightened, and Yoh whimpered. For a second, Amidamaru was worried that he may have hurt the shaman, but the thought wouldn't cling in his mind – it was fogged from their kiss, and the thought melted away as Yoh relaxed into his arms.

Just as Yoh was expecting Amidamaru to pull away, to end the kiss, he felt himself being gently lowered to the floor, Amidamaru's weight pressing him down. He opened his eyes in surprise, wondering just how far Amidamaru was going to go with this, and the weight was gone, quick as a flash. Yoh blinked. The samurai had snapped back onto his heels, a hand covering his mouth. His eyes were filled with concern, and self-directed frustration.

"Yoh-dono, I am so sorry." There was a pained look on the warrior's face. "I did not mean... it has been a long time since I..."

Yoh blinked and smiled up at his familiar as sympathetically as he could. "Its okay, Amidamaru. Really!" He added, when he caught the dubious look on Amidamaru's face. His cheeks felt warm, and he was certain that he had a dopey grin on his face. "I understand." He continued, trying to reassure his spirit familiar-come-boyfriend. 'Boyfriend'... the word echoed in Yoh's head, the separate concepts of 'Amidamaru' and 'boyfriend' coming together into one. He smiled at the thought, and ducked his head. Things seemed to be developing quickly, and it had taken him this long to process the thought that him and Amidamaru had kissed. He felt his chest swell with a kind of pride, the perfect paradox to his sudden shyness.

Slowly, Amidamaru smiled, and his hand fell from his face to gently caress Yoh's. Yoh forced himself to look up into his partner's eyes, seeing the true depth of affection there. It made the sensation in his chest intensify, and Yoh reached up to grab the samurai's clothes, pulling him down for another kiss. This one was a lot slower than the first, and conveyed mutual fondness rather than a sense of relief, of desperation. Yoh found himself enjoying the sensation of their tongues rubbing together, the large, warm hands of the samurai on his shoulders, and felt his cock begin to harden in response. A little embarrassed at how easily excited he was, he shifted as much as he could underneath Amidamaru's frame, trying to give himself a little more room, so to speak, when he heard a voice shouting his name in the distance.

Reluctantly, Yoh pulled away from the kiss, looking off to the left, trying to pinpoint where the sound was coming from. Amidamaru turned and listened too, sitting back on his heels again. He quickly glanced back down at his young charge, a sly smile crossing his face as his suspicions were confirmed - flushed cheeks, and tented trousers. Even after six hundred years of being decommissioned from this sort of thing, Amidamaru still had 'it.' A sense of very different pride swelled in the samurai's chest, though he did not have time to gloat - they both heard Yoh's name being called again, this time with a note of desperation in the shout. Yoh slowly stood, and walked to the edge of the roof, looking down onto the street below. The skies had darkened considerably since Yoh had first come out onto the roof, but he thought he could make out the blue hair of Horo down the street. He waved his arms.

"HEEEEEEY," he shouted, "I'M UP HERE! HEY, HOROHORO!"

Horo turned at the shout, and waved back up at the shaman. "DUDE! WHY ARE YOU UP THERE? WE'VE BEEN WORRIED ABOUT YOU!" He bellowed back to the teenage Shaman. He began fiddling with his oracle bell, obviously communicating with the others, letting them know that he had found Yoh.

Rather than damaging his throat further, Yoh decided to instead try and make his way back into his bedroom via the window. Before he did so, however, he turned to Amidamaru and gave him a nervous smile. He returned the smile and wound his arms around the shaman for a moment, pressing a kiss to Yoh's forehead.

"We shall talk later, Yoh-dono," Amidamaru promised, slowly letting go of _his_ shaman. Yoh beamed up at him in response, nodding. He made his way to where his window was. With renewed strength, he slowly lowered himself back into his bedroom – under the watchful eyes of Amidamaru, of course.

Almost as soon as his feet had touched the ground, the door to his bedroom slammed open. Anna stood there, hands clenched into fists down by her sides. Yoh's stomach dropped, and the smile melted from his face. He was in trouble. Anna stomped across the room and confronted her fiancé.

"And just _where_ have you been?! You've had us all worried sick!" Anna snapped, poisoning the pleasant atmosphere that had been in the room but moments before. She folded her arms, glaring at the shaman.

Yoh's mind worked fast, trying to think of an excuse, when Amidamaru cut in – "Forgive us, Lady Anna. We had been on the roof practising our skills. We did not perform our best today and we wanted to make a good start on our training for the next match." Yoh looked up at his samurai, who was deliberately not looking back at him. He silently thanked his guardian for being so quick-thinking, because as he glanced back at Anna, her look had softened a little.

"... Even so, you shouldn't just wander off without telling anybody, even if it _is_ for training. You got that?" Yoh nodded quickly in response. "Good. Now, get some rest – you'll need it for _tomorrow's_ training, and believe me, _my_ training regime will be ten times harder than anything you just did." Something about the way Anna said that with a smile told Yoh that the training was going to be both non-negotiable and just as excruciating as she was suggesting. The word 'brutal' popped into Yoh's head unbidden, and he shook his head, trying to will the thought away.

Without another word, and without even waiting for a response, Anna turned on her heel and left the room, slamming the door shut behind her with a note of finality.

Yoh breathed a sigh of relief and turned to his guardian ghost. "Thanks, Amidamaru. I'm glad one of us is so quick-thinking, or we'd be toast!" He smiled widely and chuckled a little, suddenly feeling very conscious that they were alone with each other again. He could feel the eyes of his spirit guardian fixed on him, and Yoh couldn't quite look the samurai in the eye; he was nervous, something the teenager was completely unfamiliar with. "Thanks," he repeated, thankful that it was so dark – his cheeks were turning red.

Before anything else could be said, Manta burst through the bedroom door. "Hey, Yoh! Where were you?" Manta padded into the room slowly, stretching onto his tiptoes to turn the light on. "We were worried sick!"

Yoh chuckled, smiling broadly. He'd heard at least three people say that to him in the space of ten minutes. The worry that had settled in his gut about Anna's training melted away at the sight of his friend's pleasant face. "Sorry, Manta. We were training up on the roof and kinda lost track of time." He explained. Yoh felt a twinge of regret replace the anxiety – he hated being dishonest with his best friend.

Manta raised his eyebrows. "Really? Wow Yoh, your dedication is really amazing! You really took a beating today, but you're still going at it!"

Yoh rolled his eyes. "Gee, thanks!"

Manta laughed. "You know what I mean!" He insisted quickly, the memories of his conversation with Yoh earlier still fresh in his mind. He wanted to hang around in the room to question Yoh further, but his friend seemed tired – plus, Amidamaru was in the room with them! His questions would have to wait until the morning. "Anyway, since I can see you're all safe, I'll let you get some rest... You'll need it for whatever Anna's got in store for you tomorrow!"

Yoh sighed. "Yeah, you're right," he admitted, shoulders slumping a little at the thought. Still, he shot a smile at his friend, as if to reassure him that everything between him and Amidamaru was more than fine. The diminutive know-it-all understood – and with that, he wished the shaman and his guardian ghost a goodnight, and left the room, being sure to shut the door behind him as he left. Manta went to his room with a slight grin on his face – he couldn't wait to get the inside scoop from Yoh in the morning.

Yoh became very aware that Amidamaru was watching him again, and he felt his shyness return. "Hey," he said, because he just wasn't quite sure what else to say that would break the silence. The teen felt a little rush of glee when he heard Amidamaru's chuckle in response.

"Hey," the samurai responded, the modern salutation sounding strange coming from him. He crossed the room and took the shaman into his arms again, surprised at how small Yoh was by comparison. He felt his arms wrap around his middle, Yoh's face buried into his bare chest, and the warrior smiled. He planted a kiss on the teen's head.

"Yoh-dono... you really ought to rest if you want to have any energy for tomorrow's training – you know she'll have something monstrous planned." He spoke quietly, stressing the word 'monstrous' a little too much - it sounded harsh, if not a little resentful. Yoh said nothing in response, so Amidamaru pulled back a little to check the teen's face. Yoh's chocolate-coloured eyes gazed up at the warrior, full of questions and contentment. Amidamaru smiled in response. "You know I am right, Yoh-dono." He said gently.

Yoh looked down, nodded, and then buried his face in the samurai's chest again anyway. Amidamaru's smiled broadened at the display of affection, and he was thoroughly enjoying the kind of lover Yoh was showing himself to be, but he was very conscious that time was ticking by, and he knew that the shaman was not about to move any time soon.

Without warning, he scooped Yoh up into his arms, and carried him over to the bed. The teenager gave a little cry of surprise, before locking his hands behind Amidamaru's neck, amazed at the sheer strength of his guardian ghost. He grumbled a little as he was gently placed onto the bed, knowing exactly what the warrior was hinting at... although now that Yoh was on the bed, he was starting to feel a little sleepy...

"Mmm, okay, okay, I see what you're getting at," Yoh complained lazily, even though he was still smiling. He just loved the feeling of being pressed against that strong chest, of being held and fondled so carefully and caringly. Even though Yoh worked hard and fought others in the tournament regularly, he was still essentially a child who had grown up far too quickly, and he found the idea of being looked after a little extremely welcome. Yoh reopened his eyes, looking at the strong figure beside him with a smile.

Amidamaru returned the look, and leaned over to plant a kiss on the shaman's forehead. "Sleep well, Yoh..." he murmured, the sound sending pleasant little shivers down Yoh's spine. He really, really liked the warrior's deep voice, and it sounded especially sexy when he was being quiet. As Amidamaru moved away, Yoh grabbed his clothes.

"Wait," the shaman pleaded. With another smile, Amidamaru turned back around to face his master.

"Yes?"

Yoh faltered. He wasn't sure how to articulate what it was he wanted, especially in a way that wouldn't give the samurai an expectation which couldn't be followed up (or, at least, not for the time being).

"Could you... could you stay with me? Just until I fall asleep," Yoh clarified, seeing the samurai's mouth open immediately. Amidamaru hesitated, Hao's taunts from earlier clearly still on his mind. He looked down at the shaman again, and saw the pleading look in his eyes.

Without a word, Amidamaru lay himself on the bed as well, pleased when Yoh immediately buried his head in his shoulder. Instinctively, his arms wrapped around the teenager, and he pressed another kiss to the shaman's forehead.

"Thank you..." Yoh managed, smiling to himself. Amidamaru was really too eager to please, but it was sweet and very much welcomed by the teen. He closed his eyes, everything suddenly feeling very heavy...

Before long, Yoh's breath steadied and the warrior knew he had fallen asleep. He took some time to consider his new lover, his spirits lifted from the worry and dread he had felt earlier.

Their relationship was not going to be a straightforward one – that much Amidamaru knew. Not only was there an age difference to contend with (although, the samurai thought to himself with a wry smile, he did not imagine Yoh to be one for following the rules and laws of the land when it concerned him...), but there would be times when he would need to hold himself back. Amidamaru's desires were very much the same as Yoh's, only he had the knowledge and ability that he knew Yoh lacked. And on top of that, the others could never, ever know about what was going on between them. Their affair must remain secret.

For a split second, Amidamaru felt himself getting angry at the fact he was only ever going to be the 'third person' in his partner's engagement, his anger directed solely towards Anna, and he wanted to do something, anything, to get her out of the picture – but he stopped himself, regret instantly settling into his stomach at the thought of being so selfish. He sighed in unvoiced frustration, and Yoh stirred a little at his side. He glanced down yet again at the handsome features of _his_ shaman, and he stroked the boy's arm absent-mindedly to calm himself down.

He would be grateful for what he had with Yoh. Regardless of what he wanted it to be, their relationship could only be what the circumstances allowed them to be. It pained the older man to think of himself as the one facilitating Yoh's adultery, knowing full well the consequences of if they got found out by that _shrew_ (again, Amidamaru stopped himself before he could go any further down that particular train of thought).

'But Yoh chose _you_,' a little voice in Amidamaru's head chimed in, interrupting his negative thoughts. 'He has no interest in Anna – he wants _you_.' That word echoed through his mind, and a smile slowly crept across the samurai's features.

He would do whatever he could to ensure that their time together, however brief, would be among the happiest of Yoh's life. 'Until he gets married and has children,' another voice muttered. Amidamaru frowned. Was this right? Had he done the right thing in allowing Yoh to begin this tryst? He would always be hanging in the background to Yoh's happy family life. He would never be a true part of that unit... and he would never have this feeling of being with someone and making them happy ever again.

The samurai shook his head, sorrow fully replacing the happiness he had had in his stomach but ten minutes prior. He looked down at the shaman one last time. Without a word, he left the bedroom.


End file.
